© 2026
Become the billionaire you always mocked! Collect humans like trading cards, exploit their productivity, and compete in The Excess Index - where morally bankrupt capitalism is the only way to win. Own everything. Question nothing.
In a world where billionaires have literally run out of numbers to count their wealth (they just use infinity symbols now), the ultra-wealthy created The Excess Index - a 91-day competition where winning means owning the most ridiculous collection of EVERYTHING that exists.
Started by a drunk bet at a yacht party where someone claimed they owned "more kinds of people than Pokemon," this social trading phenomenon has evolved into the ultimate satirical capitalism simulator. Here, YOU become the morally bankrupt billionaire you always mocked, collecting humans like trading cards and exploiting their productivity for profit.
BUY other players as "pets" from the dynamic marketplace - they're surprisingly okay with it! EXPLOIT their productivity through work assignments - maximum efficiency, minimum empathy! TRADE humans like stocks - insider trading is not just legal, it's encouraged! PROFIT from your portfolio of people - watch those numbers go up! COMPETE in 91-day seasons - climb the rankings and prove your worth! WIN bragging rights as the most excessive collector - because what else matters?
Buy and sell real players in a dynamic, player-driven economy
Smart market mechanics
Price history tracking and market trends
Trade humans like cryptocurrency, but with more moral bankruptcy
Work System: Generate passive income while you sleep when other players assign YOU work as their pet - truly passive exploitation!
Trading Profits: Every time someone buys one of YOUR pets, you profit big - watch your portfolio generate wealth with every transaction!
Buying Wars: Engage in addictive buying competitions where escalation is the only strategy
Market Flipping: Buy low, sell high, create artificial scarcity - it's capitalism 101!
Passive Appreciation: Your pets increase in value just by existing - like real estate but with people!
370+ All-Time Badges: Permanent progression that never resets
230+ Seasonal Badges: Fresh challenges every 91-day season
25+ Ranking Categories: Multiple ways to prove you're the worst/best
Trophy Display System: Show off your moral flexibility to others
Complete daily tasks for rewards and progression
Collect work income from your human portfolio
Check market for undervalued humans to acquire
Monitor your weekly ranking positions
Analyze market trends to maximize trading profits
Time your purchases before buying wars escalate
Plan your seasonal collection strategy
Build your network of valuable connections
SIDE EFFECTS OF PLAYING FRIENDSMOB MAY INCLUDE:
Stop pretending you have ethics and embrace your inner oligarch! In Friendsmob:
English
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