You have safely made your way out of Anna's first trap on the easiest setting possible. Try harder, noob.

You have safely made your way out of Anna's first trap with an average amount of competency. If you were a real pro you'd do it on Nightmare setting.

You have bested Anna's first nightmare stage. Don't let it go to your head, there are more to go.

You have died to zombie kills 10 times. Way to man the failboat, scrub.

You have died to zombie kills 50 times. You're moving on up the failboat foodchain; you're so bad you are now a Failboat Captain.

You have died to zombie kills 100 times. You're now the Admiral of the Failboat fleet. You're mother will be so proud of you.

You have survived the first sewer level without losing a single point of sanity. Congrats, you figured out how to stay in the light.

You have survived the more difficult task of besting Annalinnia's second sewer system nightmare without losing a single point of sanity. Hurrah to you, great work at basically being as good as a flashlight.

This is actually impressive, you've survived Annalinnia's mountain path nightmares without losing a single point of sanity. Although she begrudgingly gives you some respect for this, she believes you must have cheated somehow.

You have collected 100 mushrooms. Congrats on staying sane a little longer.

You have collected 1000 mushrooms. Maybe you should have looked for the clue's instead of following dead end paths.

You have collected 10,000 mushrooms. Your dedication towards mindlessly picking up shiny objects is exemplary.

You have absorbed 100 pints of blood. Your stomach may have trouble digesting all of that.

You have absorbed 1,000 pints of blood. You are officially a vampire bat, now flap away little fella.

You have absorbed 10,000 pints of blood. Welcome home Vlad, your steak shall be served raw and your goblets overflowing with type O Negative.

You have collected 100 power skulls. Did you remember to use any of them?

You have collected 1,000 power skulls. With all that bone density osteoporosis will never affect you.

You have collected 10,000 power skulls. Time to build your skull throne and sit atop of it while living in your skull mansion.

You have managed to die to stationary enemies 1,000 times. They never moved, not even once.

You have beaten Annalinnia's entire murder dungeon without dying a single time on the Nightmare difficulty. She didn't believe it was possible, neither does anyone else, cheater.

You found Zebukiel. Now go watch his Twitch stream.