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Achievements
Postal 2Sync your progress to see which achievements you've unlocked.
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R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
67.5% global

Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
49.1% global

Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper.
46.3% global

Chapelle's Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
8.7% global

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
48.8% global

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
4.5% global

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Survived Monday.
53.0% global

C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday.
34.2% global

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Survived Wednesday.
28.0% global

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Survived Thursday.
21.7% global

Workin' for the Weekend
Survived Friday.
18.6% global

Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday.
14.0% global

I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
10.3% global

Cesar Millan is Very Happy
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
6.3% global

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire.
20.1% global

Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars.
9.8% global

Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs.
5.0% global

Darth Maul'd!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
14.3% global

Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
9.1% global

Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
5.4% global

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
19.7% global

Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
5.5% global

Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
28.1% global

Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
8.5% global

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people.
17.5% global

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
21.9% global

Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
31.9% global

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
25.1% global

Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
16.4% global

Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
4.7% global

Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
8.2% global

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
19.0% global

Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
9.0% global

Anustart!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
4.2% global

40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
3.8% global

CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
3.6% global

Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
4.1% global

Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
3.3% global

Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
31.4% global

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
33.7% global

Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
19.9% global

Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
32.1% global

Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
9.8% global

Shiva Blast
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
10.1% global

Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
5.6% global

I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
10.4% global

I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day.
8.9% global

Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
62.0% global

Officer McLovin'
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
46.3% global

Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
12.6% global

Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door.
56.6% global

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire.
36.5% global

It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss.
37.2% global

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
31.5% global

FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits.
14.9% global

I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
6.4% global

A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
12.8% global

Door Mat
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
14.5% global

Chuck Norris'd!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
11.4% global

One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death.
6.9% global
Hidden Achievement
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10.3% global
Hidden Achievement
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4.7% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
8.5% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
17.6% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
8.3% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
4.1% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
13.7% global

Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days.
9.1% global

GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend.
8.1% global

Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy.
6.7% global

Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame.
6.0% global

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
5.5% global

Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion.
4.6% global

My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
3.1% global

Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
3.0% global

Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
3.1% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
4.6% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
4.5% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
3.7% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
3.8% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
6.0% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
3.3% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
3.8% global

Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
3.7% global

BioShocked
Spent $2000 on vending machines.
4.4% global

Gettin DP'd
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
4.8% global

You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
3.4% global

RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 10 people in the balls.
10.0% global
Hidden Achievement
HiddenKeep playing to discover this achievement
13.1% global